American Sauce


What in the holy name of Heinz is this nonsense?

I was strolling through Carrefour for our bi-weekly ketchup re-up, when I passed this beauty in the condiment isle.

At first I had grand dreams of my beloved Thousand Island Dressing, even something that might be close to it. I desperately miss reubens, and sandwiches in general.

When I got home I whipped it out of the bag for some taste testing.


Thousand Island Dressing it is NOT.

I’m not even sure what classifies this as “American Sauce”, I have a lot of experience with American condiments and I can certainly say I have never come across this before. The bottle says the sauce is with tomatoes, shallots, and parsley. I can describe it best as a ketchup and mayonnaise mixture with a spike of fake garlic/onion that lingers on unpleasantly.



America is like a patchwork quilt of sauces by regions. One man’s Golden Carolina is another man’s Texas Pete.

I mean if there had to be one sauce accepted nationally it would have to be Ranch Dressing, what’s more American than mayonnaise, mixed with butter milk, and processed flavorings?


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